Saturday, 15 December 2012
Laptop, I love you
So from my last post you can tell that I've had a shitty couple of days.
Can't really be bothered to explain what the last post was about. Maybe it's sorted out now. Maybe living here won't turn out crap.I'm going to have to get my options open though, because I know that I can't go back to having nowhere to live.
Speaking of options, I've been thinking about my university and college plans, and I am really beginning to see how unrealistic they are. I mean, really, I don't think I'm going to be able to do particularly well in my Alevels this year; I just don't think that being in that kind of environment is going to help me learn anything. I know that I'm clever. But just not in that way. Not in the way where I sit down and write in an exam.
I fucking love college though; I'm around people my own age, right now in my life that's what I need because seriously lacking in the friend area at the moment because of the last year and not having friends because of him; not maintaining old friendships because of him. I think I need to stick with college to, well, basically compose myself, ready myself to face the world again. It's not so much about the work.
I think I know that I want to go to university, but I think more for the same reasons.
So maybe it's wrong to go to uni. For a start I really don't think I can work or learn in that way.
This really isn't what I wanted to write a post about at all.
I was going to talk about how I had more bike lessons today. Though that isn't all that interesting either.
What I really want to write about I can't because I know who reads my blog, and it's basically just about them, and it's pretty damn wrong of me to do the thing I'm doing and gosh it hurts, but maybe it can work. Kind of hoping.
I really wish none of you had made me think about all of that stuff that I am doing at the moment that was going just fine, because now it really isn't, is it. Because I had to stop and think and therefore mess it up. Yaay; once again I followed other people's advice instead of my own.
Well, anyway, I realised today that I substitute my laptop for a boyfriend - It keeps me warm at night, because I fall asleep with it in my arms, makes me laugh (oh LOLcats you are hilarious), listens to me when I speak (write this) and it's face (screen) lights up when I come home.