Saturday, 22 December 2012


So, as the world was supposed to end yesterday, I went out for a meal with a few friends.
T'was good. They all had proper food and I had my little prawn sammich.
The place that we went did puddings that you could share with up to six other people.
They had one each.
And I felt very proper with my itsy little Sundae. Which I was very pissed off about because I had a spoon that wouldn't fit into the bottom of the bloody glass and we all know that that is the best part of a goddamn sundae. After a few minutes of debating whether or not I should scream at a waitor that I needed a smaller spoon, I realised that I could just use the end of my spoon. And then I cheered everyone else on as they gorged on their pudding.
Look, those are the puddings next to my friend with the blue hair, and I look like a dick in the back there so don't look at my face, but you can see my tiny pudding there.

So anyway, when we finished up there, me and my friend with blue hair ( henceforth referred to as Smurfette ) went off to tesco and spent the rest of the evening guzzling alcohol.
Which is actually extremely unusual for me. I almost never drink. But I was all, 'hells to that bitches it's the end of the world!'
So the rest of our evening included following a flashing light ( I swear we would have been the first people to die if that had been the beginning of the end. Who walks towards the end?!?!? ) The light turned out to be an old couple taking photos of the cathedral.
Then we heard a giggle. Which creeped us out and we decided to walk away from that one.
There was a lot of peeing in bushes actually, but I wasn't a part of that... I used the men's toilet instead, which got a lot of jeers from the group of people nearby.
I flicked a bottle lid into my face when trying to get the top off....
Basically neither of us actually had a bottle opener, so we were using the straight edge of a fence... the first one that I did the lid came of well easy, and I felt like a boss. The second one... Well, the lid flew off after I got angry at it and hit me just above my eye. Good thing I wear glasses.
We were waiting on someone else to arrive at this point. I was getting a little chilly as well.
But then there was a big schmaffle (new word!!) against the fence and I spring up all panicked and grab Smurfette's arm (only so she knew I hadn't run off and abandoned her, obviously....) and we stand around like ahghashgdwskjnf what's going on?!
And two people emerge from the shadows. One was a really short person ( presumed to be a twelve year old twit) with some average looking guy. Apparently one of them tripped and fell into the fence. Which is hilarious. They sat in the park for a bit. When they left the  little one shouting something about wanting to lick our bum farts. My town is just delightful....
Yeah, so then Smurfette's friend turns up and I've not met her before. She seemed nice. She got us more alcohol. And we all did a very good job of appearing sober and normal in front of two patrolling policey people.
Hmm... what else happened..
After the other girl left us we went off to finish our drinks, and there were a lot of pissed people about, mainly because it was end of the world Friday - everyone wants to go out drunk. Obviously.
Yeah, Smurfette kept stopping drunk people to talk to them, and a man who was clearly almost at passing out stage ended up giving her money to get home! like he just dipped his hand in his pocket and gave it all to her. Which was fun and now I know how to get money when I'm short (I am kidding don't worry)
So yeah was a great evening <3

AND, now today, I am just THE happiest, because my brother sent me back a card and I didn't quite know what to do when I found it in the post and after my sister got off the phone I started crying which was really weird. I don't think I've cried tears of happiness before.
I'm off to do some wrapping. I am so happy.

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