Monday 21 January 2013

Yesterday...?

So, I fell asleep through exhaustion last night from revising (yeah, I actually managed to start my revision!!)
And when I woke up this morning I was checking my blog (as you do) and I realised that I had written two posts..
Yesterday is a bit of a blur, as you can see in my Manic Writing post I was feeling pretty crazy and stressed. This happens sometimes. I'll just go on hype mode. Won't really know what I'm doing. I just completely forgot that I wrote a post. Or that I really did anything I said I did in yesterday's post. So I've checked a bit... and guess what, I really have decided to stretch my other ear, because I've bought a bunch of stretcher and tunnels and spirals.
Oh, and imagine my surprise when I looked in the mirror this morning and saw the pink in my hair.
The weird thing about it when I get like that is that I basically appear normal from the outside. But inside, I'm racing and everything is pretty slow.
So there we go.
My exam this morning didn't go too badly, only got worried really about one section of the exam and one particular question.
All in all pretty well.
This afternoon though, my coursework..
Well, let's just say that I don't think it is even worth an E grade..
I only did the first section of one unit in the coursework.
I just couldn't sit still, couldn't concentrate. Couldn't manage to organise my thoughts.
I went for a sprint out to the college gates and back, and that actually helped. Was really weird, hadn't even realised I did it until I was halfway there. Dunno, guess I had too much energy. Which is weird because I'm so exhausted these days and if I'm telling the truth I've let taking my iron supplements slip my mind for a couple weeks now.
Am hoping I can get an extension for my coursework.
That or I am resubmitting next year.
Another thing I did today - dropped out of English.
Yeah
I love writing, but an English A level just isn't the same.
Instead, I am going to spend the time I would be doing English, on writing my book.
Because I had such a good idea for it and I promised myself that I wouldn't let it fall behind me like basically everything else I do.
This way I'll have more time at college and will be able to properly focus on my other subjects and not falling behind
Good news is that next year they are starting a creative writing A level, so I'm going to take that and just forget about English A level. I have my AS level in that and that will be good enough for me. Kinda upset that I can't double box it though. Because it is new they won't have the A2 stuff for me to take, because logic shows that you need to do an AS in it first.
But that should be good.
Because I've realised recently that I am fooling myself really about going down the psychology route. I would love to be that great psychologist that helps people, but I'm a drifter really. I'm not made for doing lots of work all at the same time.
I would still love to work in a nursery or a nursing home or a children's home or something like that, But that's the thing about writing; you can write with whatever else you do. So I can have that as my day job, be fulfilling and be helping people, and I can be doing the thing I love most as well.

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