Thursday, 7 November 2013

Profile photos

My current Facebook profile picture is of me at Halloween.

It was the first time I have ever done anything for Halloween. So I dressed up as a teddy bear.. or rather dressed a bit down.
My big sister lent me a corset she had, which is beautiful, on the condition that I did not ruin it. I did not ruin it because I was not drinking.
I have to say, I was the hottest girl out last Thursday, I really was.
I didn't want to come across as too much of a slut so I wore jeans. So the only part of me that was exposed was my gorgeous cleavage. Which isn't shown well in this picture (neither is my face) and I also wore my first pair of heels.
Shut up I know it's weird to get to halfway through being 18 and not have worn heels before. I've just never been bothered.
I had to ride my bike in this corset. IT WAS NOT EASY.
But I'm a fucking boss so I managed.
(I was wearing my protective gear over the top cause it was freezing and would've been silly not to, so no one knew what kind of hell I was going through as I rode. It would have looked super hot if I hadn't been wearing protective stuff though no? hahaha )

Before I changed to this photo a couple of days ago, I had one of me playing with my niece. It was really cute. Quite a lot of the time my profile pictures are of me and my niece, partly because my sister just seems to be able to get a good photo of me, and partly because my niece is always smiling in them and that just makes any photo pretty.
I can see why people constantly think I have a child of my own - I just want to make completely sure right now that everyone knows that I do not have a kid of my own. I couldn't deal with the nappies every single day.

My photo that goes with my bog is of me on my 18th birthday. I just think it's a pretty picture of me. I didn't really do anything for my 18th so there aren't any crazy photos of me with my boobs out and vomit down myself - cannot understand why people do that AND take photos of it and show people. Can't understand why someone would do that at all.

What's a 'Fearne'?

On my blog, you get 100% unadulterated, uncensored Fearne.

Or do you?

What you get on my blog is whatever thoughts come into my head whilst I'm writing.. But there are certain things or feelings that I won't write about - I've literally just sat there trying to write an example of something I would never write on here, and I couldn't. I think on my blog you really get the rawest side of me - stuff that I maybe wouldn't feel comfortable talking about in person but don't mind people knowing.

Any other websites that I use I am completely different on. I use facebook to be funny- the majority of my facebook statuses are amusing (or I think that they are) I use facebook to chat to my friends (but on private messaging so that doesn't count) and to show off how awesome my niece and nephew are.
I've literally only just started to use twitter.

Any other website I use or have an account with, I am completely anonymous.

I like to pretend I'm someone else for a while. I like to not have to worry about what someone is going to respond with to something I say, because they have no idea who I am. If I feel like moaning about anything - stuff that I can't on here because of who might be reading, I can do it anonymously instead. It's great. I can say anything I want, and someone out there will agree with whatever it is, or someone will give me a good argument on it without bringing in personal things because, well, we don't know each other so we can't do that.

So pretty much, you can't get to know the whole me online.

Wednesday, 6 November 2013

NaBloPoMo - falling into place

"Tell us about a time everything fell into place perfectly"

How about never?

Look at me, my life is a wreck!

  • I don't particularly like where I'm living - It's just until I can afford somewhere that is mine.
  • I have had to quit my first real job that I loved because I can't afford to have one.
  • I'm doing a third year of college because the first two got mucked up by shit happening, and now I don't see much point in doing this year because I can only achieve gaining one full a level overall from my three years, and really, what help is that going to be?
  • I am pretty much guaranteed to spend the next year of my life fighting off stupid problems that could have been prevented had someone done their job properly
  • I honestly actually have no idea what job I genuinely want to do for the rest of my life - the navy is still my top option, however, I don't want to go straight into that kind of job.
The navy, the way I see it, is a pretty sheltered job. Yeah, risking life etc, but they give you a place to live, they pay you a bunch, you have job security and you aren't living in the rest of the world - it'll be like living in a completely different, separate part of the world. Before I join, I want to experience the good parts of the world I currently know. Cause I know there are some. 
I am sort of glad I gone brokeded me jaw, cause it means I have to wait 12 months after it has fixed before I can join anyway, which means I got an excuse to enjoy life before I start my new one.

I can only do that if I manage to get myself a full time job when I finish college in like May/June. 
But it took me years to get the job that I just had to quit. Although my boss would be happy to have me come back if there's a vacancy. So I hope someone gets fired when I need a job - bitch level 8.5?

I'm one of those shitbags that thinks that it all happens for a reason. Which is why whenever I find myself homeless, I can stay positive because I know that this is just a stage of my life, and that the good bits are waiting for me at the other end. I figure that my life will start to get better when I have a stable income and a decent place to live that is my own. and I'm figuring this will happen in my 20's. probably my mid 20's. Hopefully by the time I'm 30.

Which will of course mean that by the end of my life, everything will have 'fell into place perfectly'

This is one of the songs that help me to remember that everything will turn out the way it is supposed to, because sometimes I do forget that.

Tuesday, 5 November 2013

Guy Fawkes Night

Guy Fawkes Night

I'm not a big fan of fireworks - I don't particularly like going to muddy fields to watch them and get cold because I always get worried that something will go wrong and we'll all die (over exaggeration?)

They're really loud and the pretty colours only stay in the sky a few seconds, and NEVER have I seen the kind of fireworks that make words in the sky for real, so I've started to think that might just be a movie thing, which is irritating.

When I was younger my oldest brother brought his girlfriend and her two children over and did some fireworks in the back garden for them, me and my other sister. I don't really remember much about it, I'm pretty sure I enjoyed it, but I also remember that one of the rockets wasn't in it's place properly before it went off and I think my brother almost hurt himself trying to et it straight before it went off. I don't know whether it was okay or not, I think I was about seven or eight maybe... no idea.

In 2009 my big sister took me and her friend plus their boyfriend to a firework night.
I liked being there - my sister let me wear her really nice bench coat that was really warm, but as you can see in the picture, I didn't have any fashion sense back then, and I was a lot fatter and my hair was awful and I could continue that list but no.

Honestly I don't remember much about that night - I know there were fireworks, pretty sure my sister bought me some chips or a burger or something from the van, there was a packet of maltesers because I found another picture and I was holding some, and there was a bonfire with the guy on it. Which I remember thinking was the first time I'd actually seen that part of bonfire night.

Other than this time actually, I don't remember going out to a firework night - I think it was always a 'look out of the bedroom window' jobbie mostly. As you can see I have a sparkler, and I know I had a nice night because I always liked it when my sister spent time with me(still do - she's pretty fun) but I think I was worried about burning my fingers on the sparkler (I swear I'm retarded.)

As I write this post there's bloody fireworks going off and all I'm thinking is "Shut up I am trying to write"
So I don't think the fifth of November holds much importance to me. 


This is a part of National Blog Posting Month

Am I easily tricked?
Do I fall for things?

Well, yes and no
If you tell me there is a spider in/on/around me ( OMG I wrote in? HOW could a spider be in me? I don't even want to think about that. That would be horrible.) I will ALWAYS immediately believe you and have a freak out until I can't find something (ten minutes later I will check again)
It's got to a point where people can just cup their hands together and I'll think there's a spider in there (Thanks sister, for spending our childhood doing this enough to make it a problem in my life now -.- )
You just have to look at the wall behind me a bit funny.

You can tell me a big lie about what you did over the weekend and I'll believe you because I see no reason to lie about what you did over the weekend - it could be known to me that you haven't much money and I'll still believe that you went to a five star hotel for three days in Spain.

However. I am these days a lot more suspicious about what people say to me
I'm not good at telling when people are lying, so quite often, you'll say something like that to me and initially I'll be like, wow cool, that must have been a really fun holiday, what did you get up to?!
And a bit later I'll be over thinking everything you said about it.
Which basically means that, to begin with, I believe everything you say, two hours later I won't believe any of it. And then you'll say something else and I'll believe that until I start over thinking that as well.

I'm trying to just not have friends that lie these days.
I'm sick of people lying to me - It happens so often.

Sunday, 3 November 2013

Puddle or Leaves?

*To be read in a newsreader voice*

Good evening everybody, and welcome, to today with 'National Blog Posting Month'. On this wet miserable day we have a rather serious question upon us: Which is better for jumping-in purposes - a pile of leaves, or a puddle? Join us now to find out!

We asked fifteen people which option they would prefer to jump in. Personally, we thought that the answers would be evenly distributed. However, this was not the case!

Seven of those fifteen decided jumping leaves would be more fun.. Or rather, going by their explanations, would be noisier and keep them from getting wet.
Here are some examples of the explanations given:

"Leaves because they are the crunchiest shit ever. 
And water stays there afterwards - leaves don't."

"Leaves because then I won't get wet"
(This exact response came from two different people)

"A puddle would get my feet wet. Plus if I jumped well enough leaves would go flying about and I would feel like I can CONTROL THE WIND *evil laugh* "

Four of the eight other responses were all for getting wet in a puddle, rather than dicking about in the leaves.
The main reason for jumping in a puddle rather than leaves was that you can actually see what you're jumping in with a puddle, and it would only be water that you'd get on you.
Our favourite response from the puddle people was:

"Puddle. Because I am a fearless bastard"

The other thing we found with the puddle people was that two of the responders were actually in a relationship, and their reasoning was that they they like the rain because it is fun. 

The remaining four respondents. One said leaves, so long as they weren't wet because wet leaves are "Icky"
Another just simply replied "Jack Daniels" which caused us here to go and get ourselves a drink.
One thought that either could be a trap, a booby trap, and then continued to talk about boobs.
The last person didn't reply.
Perhaps the last three respondents described were all at the same party.

So there you have it people, Dry Leaves are the best thing to jump in, and my friends are pretentious pricks that don't like getting a little wet or muddy!

Personally, We like jumping in big splashy puddles and then going over to roll in a bunch of crunchy leaves until they are a soggy mess.

"Leaves because leaves are awesome....
I'm not going to have leaves thrown at me am I?"

Saturday, 2 November 2013


So today for NaBloPoMo the topic is 'My favourite autumn flavour'

It actually says autumnal, but I can't say that word very well cause it doesn't seem like a real one to me.

Uh, to be honest I don't really know.
I kind of eat the same things all year round

But I like cinnamon. And that's autumn-y
The past couple weeks (it's technically been autumn, have you looked at the weather? ) I've been drinking this really nice cinnamon coffee - I don't know what it's called because I threw the jar out cause I finished it, and it was just downstairs in the kitchen cause no one else liked it. But it tasted amazing. Specially using mostly warm milk with it instead of hot water. I may have to start buying a cinnamon coffee from costa when I'm in town like my sister does.
I also always buy and eat the cinnamon swirls that tesco make. In the mornings, they're still warm, so the inside bit that's cinnamon is all nice and gooey. I only like them when there's a decent amount of the cinnamon stuff in them though - sometimes some of them don't have much - as though the bakers were trying to skimp out. They're basically just pastry that it twirled around in a circle with sticky cinnamon stuff in it to stick the pastry together, and has a little icing drizzled over the top. Not particularly healthy but reeeal tasty.

National Blog Posting Month

I'm gonna take part in NaBloPoMo.

It stands for National Blog Posting Month.
The list of prompts for this is here
I basically post something every day for this month using those prompts

I want a way to get me to write a lot of posts - the perfect way is for me to take part in this! I may be a day late starting but hey!
This is also cool cause it's my 100th post to my blog (:

So the first topic is something that you don't know about me.

I miss living in the supported housing place that I used to last year.

Which is crazy.
I started this blog basically because I hated living there so much. In this post I talk about what an average night was like there.
I hated it so much!
But when I think back, I probably hated it mostly because of my flat mate. Whilst I was there I had a place to live where people didn't just come into my room for no reason, I had a lock on my door, I had my own kitchen (I didn't ever use it because of the flat mate) and if I had a problem my support worker was supposed to help me with it, or basically just sort it for me if she could. Yeah I didn't like any of the other staff much at all, but I didn't really ever have to see them.
I wish that I had never moved out because that would mean I would be living in the centre of town and not be stuck living out in the middle of nowhere at the moment
And the week before I moved out, my flat mate had been kicked out and I met what would have been my new one the day I moved out - and she was lovely.
I actually have proof that she really was a lovely person because it turns out that she actually lived with the people I currently do now for a little bit before she moved there.
So that's something that I haven't really told anyone. Because I hated it so much whilst I was there they'd think I was crazy.